I Dont Understand 2004-08-31 2:39 a.m.
So today's the last day of the month, and I haven't updated in a while.
Celes died. The cat I turned over to the Ripley family in Tazewell is now dead. I promised her I'd go get her and then we'd all be together again. She, myself and Tragic. However, that can't be now. She died the fifth, but I didn't find out until the 12th, I was pretty sad, cried, and I'm crying as I write this now.
Not only for her, but for myself. I know I'm not in Richlands anymore and I guess that's a good reason for things. No one calls me anymore, talks to me on instant messengers or anything. I guess everyone is caught up in their own lives - their jobs, school, and their relationships. Megan's got Food Lion and John Brown. I decided to go back to myspace.com where she's got an account to see if she had any pics of her b/c I miss everyone and I can't see them. Of course, I find what seems to be that she has replaced me with a new best friend. I guess it was inevitable since I'm not there.
Speaking of myspace.com, I saw who Brennan had replaced me with. I guess she has to have some kind of wonderful personality to replace mine. Then again, I do have an awful personality.
I'm a bitch. I'm a whore. I'm a backstabbing piece of shit. I'm never satisfied with what I have. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm critical. I'm too demanding. I like money. I'm impatient. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I believe in crazy shit like love and Friendship.
So much for coming back to a place where I'm all but invisible and forgotten. I wanted to go home because I had at least one good friend. Now it appears I am nothing! I am once again but a speck of dust on the windshield, and I have been wiped off. Not by one person, but by a few more. Ones that it actually hurts when they wipe their windows clean of me.
Everyone, I'm sorry I couldn't stick there and be important and good enough for your friendship/whatever else.
I'm sorry for always being the worst person ever.
It's not like any of you read this though...the only ones that read this are people I have never met and who don't know me from any other weird girl on the street.
Wakateru Janai.
Wakateru Janai.
To my old friends in Virginia, Sayonara.
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