He Is Gone 2003-11-30 5:54 p.m.
My cat is gone. I accidently left the window open a bit too much and left the room to watch Mulan with Bev. I came back to discover that he wasn't there, and then I noticed the window...So shortly afterwards, I donned the old hoodie, some shoes, and a candle for light and went on the search for him. I found tracks...but I didn't find him. It was almost as if he'd disappeared into thin air. I was upset most of last night, and periodically cried. I did my best to keep my crying in my room, but I'm sure I probably leaked a little when I went to the bathroom and got food and the like. I just can't believe my stupidity. I woke up this morning around 9:30 and went to see if I could find him. I found more tracks of his, and he was, in fact, near or in the dumpster. Now he's not...and I still can't find him. I even got brave and looked in the shed that has "No Trespassing" signs directly near it. I don't know what to do or think or where to even start looking for him. The tracks he left are now melted away, because today was fairly warm for a wintry-ish day.
I can't give up though; I'm still hoping that he'll come back on his own. That doesn't mean I'm going to give up looking for him, and going out there and calling for him.
Life just really doesn't have much meaning anymore. I'm not even sure where I stand as far as religion goes anymore. More and more every day, I go from the Wiccan end of the scale to the Atheist end. If there is indeed some higher power, they are a sick fuck who enjoys taking away everything that I care about and love, and I'm just really not amused with it anymore. If my cat comes back, fair enough. I'd really enjoy it and it'd really be great since I've done a "spell" and prayed most of the night and day for him to. If not, that's okay too. I'll become a rich woman, or at least, a moderately well off one when I sell every piece of bullshit religious stuff that I own.
I just don't even know if it's even worth it anymore.
0 Comments
