Why Couldnt I Have A Good Family? 2004-07-25 1:10 p.m.
So everyone knows my family totally sucks.
However, yesterday and today they are topping the cake!
What happened, you ask?
Well, it's common knowledge that I absolutely need a car. It's imperative for me to have one, especially for school right now. God knows I'll need one to even move out.
My grandma and her husband Sam (the banes of my existence) have an array of cars. You might call them a collection. So what do they do? They go out and buy a car yesterday. A good car...a very nice car....for $7500. Why? Because they could.
For five seconds, I thought it may've been mine. I told myself no though, cause I knew better.
Now. For half of what they paid for that, they could've gotten me a decent car. For a fourth of that, they could've helped me go half and half for a car.
But do they? No. Everyone else I know, their parents buy them cars or at the very least help them in some way. Mine don't. And there's no fucking way I can buy a car. I can't take out a loan for one without a cosigner (which I don't have) and I certainly can't save up enough to buy one. I don't have a job. Then again, I can't have a job without a car because as we saw earlier, 17 miles is too far for them to take me.
So I cried about it. I cried because they rubbed the car in my face when they got home. "Oh Amanda go look at the car!" and they just went on and on and on and on. After Sam had went outside to mow the yard, I told Dana exactly how I felt. How I thought it was bullshit that they never did anything for me. How most other kid's parents help them get their first car, and how they could do that, but they wouldn't.
It basically just went in one ear and out the other. She never listens to a goddamn thing I say. It's like I'm not even here. She just replied with things that had nothing to do with what I was trying to get across to her.
So I went in my room and cried. I cried because I hate them, I hate the unfairness of it all, I hate whoever rules the universe for giving this lot in life to me and having it continually get worse, and because I hate myself for not being able to do anything about it.
Now what happened today you ask?
Something very simple. It was super hot in my room and I asked them if I could turn the air down since it was on 75. They know ( as do most people that know me) that I don't do well in heat. I get sick from it and just generally don't tolerate it well.
And now I'm crying over it, because I'm getting sicker with the heat because they refused to let me turn down the air.
We also have company coming over today. I don't think I'll show myself because of how I feel. I'll just stay in here
God fucking damn you, God.
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