I'm Not Dead 2005-04-27 11:57 p.m.
So yeah, I'm not dead.
A lot of shit has happened...good and bad.
But I haven't felt this alive and positive in a long time.
I moved in with my friend Jenni. I feel...happy.
I miss Tragic so much though....
and no, he's not dead either.
It finally blew. I said "fuck you" to sam and walked out. Not having anywhere else to go, Jenni and her family decided to take me in. However, since she and her mom are highly allergic to cats, I had to leave Tragic with a friend of mine, Charisma.
||bass from the acmlm boards is going to take care of him starting late may, early june...and he's an hour away from boston and I can go see tragic weekly.
Life is finally starting to look up. I feel the old me coming back.
I've been jealous, controlling, manipulative, and attention whorey for a while now. I wonder how it is that I got that way and didn't notice it...
So to everyone I've hurt in the past four years - I'm sorry. I've never been more aware of how dumb I was being.
How childish I was....really. I almost lost everyone dear to me because of it too. Jenni, thanks for getting me away from Dana and Sam and allowing me to be Amanda again.
I was better than all this drama and bullshit at one time. I am better than it.
I'll give a full update later.
5 Comments
Brett - 2005-04-28 18:05:30
I am so happy to know that you are finally returning into the Amanda I love the most *hugs*
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Brett - 2005-04-28 18:06:59
Glad to hear that you are finally returning into the Amanda I know and love *hugs*
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K.A.T.T. - 2005-04-29 17:19:56
First a really quick shout-out: "Hi BRETT!!! Sorry I haven't wrote you in a while, but I do miss you and I finally got a second to relax." Now, I am so glad to hear that things are starting to look up. I remember you telling me about some of what happened last time we chatted, but it sucks that you couldn't bring Tragic with you. Just keep hanging in there.
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Sofie - 2005-04-30 10:47:43
glad to see you're still alive :)
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Charisma - 2005-05-01 14:20:05
I am so glad to see an update from you. ^_^ I check this page like every day. I miss you so much as does Tragic. ^_^ *HUGS* I hope to talk to you soon.
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